This is exactly how to change someone’s mind, as inspired from proven psychological methods

EXCLUSIVE: This piece is generously offered for the first time by scholar theory I finally managed to analyze. Existing tips you may find elsewhere focus on sales and salesmen’s skills specifically, but my tips provide additional insight into why exactly we follow certain rules when it comes to mastering convincing anyone of anything.

The President of the United States might as well steal my methods if they wish! The following tips to convince someone are shockingly good! I dive into each one of them and explain the mind psychology behind it.

Being a convincing person, or the art of persuasion, is studied with the help of psychology. It is simple but complex at the same time. You can either go ahead and note these down OR grab commercial pop-psychology books from pseudo-speakers. But if you pick the first option (I am honored), please do leave some feedback in the comments below, as I will be working towards an updated list from readers.

These are 10 ways to change someone’s mind, and they work well across fields of daily life, including at the workplace, in the family, in politics, or in relationships. But, as always, remember that everyone is wired differently, so you might need to try several methods until the right one clicks and you get what you want.

So, if you are trying to convince someone of a fact; or convince them to take action – this will be more than fit for your needs.

Is it ethical to change someone’s mind? Yes, because any person has a working discernment and would not blindly be led somewhere they would say ‘no’ to, simply put. But sometimes the ethical concerns are blurry and highly dependent on the context at hand. The person in front of you may not be as educated on the topic of discussion. Lack of knowledge and understanding can make some people more susceptible to being easily convinced. I am definitely talking about my granddad who is most probably watching Fox News as we speak!

For the love of God, every single day we have journalists and politicians trying to convince Americans of this and that. Let’s stay on top of it and learn what that looks like.

Beyond doing the convincing, it is ethical to ask yourself WHY you want to do it. That is where you will find your yes or no answer. Before you get into Hollywood gaslighting techniques because I laid out a good list for you, ask yourself the WHY—and if you conclude that you are well-intended, by all means, proceed.

1. Listen First, Speak Later

People are more open when they feel heard and understood. If you listen actively, you will automatically build fundamental trust and will lower mental defense on a subconscious level. This one requires a lot of patience and tact. A highly emotionally intelligent person will comfort the other person first. They will offer them friendly understanding, where even small gestures and body language can do some of the work.

2. Find Common Ground

Start with something you both agree on. Agreement creates connection and makes new ideas less threatening.

As we might be able to see in classic debate videos, the two parties involved are sometimes agreeing with each other. Whether it is a scored debate or heated political argument with Charlie Kirk at Cambridge Union, it is smart and useful to occasionally agree with the person you are trying to convince.

Remember there is no one-step way of changing someone’s mind. It is an indefinite process you might be able to build up if you take all the right steps.

3. Use Questions, Not Assertions

Asking thoughtful questions can guide someone to reconsider their stance without feeling attacked. Plus, using questions is definitely like you are trying to get to know them better. See the person in front of you slowly open up.

Note: Do not ask too many questions. Go for the meaningful ones only. It can get too much and inquisitive. You might actually hinder your persuasion step-by-step process if you use this tip ineffectively.

4. Tell Stories, Not Just Facts

Stories are emotionally engaging and memorable. A personal anecdote can be more persuasive than data alone. Stories stick to the memory.

This is a tricky one. Sure, people do it all the time. They speak out of first-hand experience, or they heard something like that from a friend of a friend.

Are you a solid proof person or an experiential person?

If we were to critically analyze the #4 theory finding, for me personally, first-hand experiences are not all that impressive. They will not change my mind because of a few critical reasons:

• I am aware of bias or the possibility for story manipulation;
• I prefer data and logic;
• I have been professionally trained in evidence-based thinking.

5. Appeal to Their Values

Frame your argument in terms of what they care about. So, for example, talk about ‘freedom’ or ‘safety’ rather than ‘rules’ or ‘responsibility’.

If your sets of values are somewhat opposite, keep in mind tip #5 might not be ethical to implement!

6. Be Calm and Respectful

There is nothing you can ever use aggression for! Even if they are not, stay calm and respectful. It will 200% work in your favor every single time. I repeat—this is your go-to for trying to convince. Resist the urge to get verbally aggressive.

7. Use Social Proof

Oh, credibility by means of social proof.

Mentioning that others (especially peers or respected figures) share your same perspective can increase credibility in the eyes of the person you are trying to convince.

So, for example, I think it’d be good if you cleaned your room, and your father thinks you will have more space to play on your Xbox if you do.

8. Plant a Seed, Don’t Demand Change

Changing minds is a slow process. Some argue that it is more impossible than possible to do! So, if it doesn’t work on the spot, your job is just to introduce doubt or curiosity. Come back to it later and watch the seed grow.

9. Show, Don’t Just Tell

Demonstrating your point (through action, examples, or behavior) is always more powerful than simply explaining it in words.

Right now, let me rewind and practice what we’ve learned. I want to change your mind so you absolutely love and need this Premium Fireside Bourbon Jar Candle. It is currently on sale, smells absolutely wonderful in my living room, and changes the whole vibe in my house.

10. BONUS

Here are some tiny bonus tips for those of you that managed to get all the way to the end! I said that I offer insight and nuance, so here it is. As with everything in psychology, trying to convince someone is not all black or white. Carefully consider the following if you are working on convincing someone.

If someone is tired, distracted, overwhelmed, or under time pressure, they’re less likely to analyze arguments deeply. They will rather rely more on mental shortcuts (heuristics) like “this person sounds confident, so they must be right.” I love this one, but it can sound like ‘fake it till you make it’…

If the person you are trying to convince trusts you, the process gets easier and the likelihood of persuasion increases. People are more easily persuaded by someone they like, respect, or see as an authority. This can be mixed with charisma, credibility, or similarity (shared background or values), as discussed above.

We are all social chipmunks, and therefore our common need for social approval. The person in front of you thinks that agreeing with you will avoid conflict, gain your social acceptance, or win praise for them.

Last but not least, the emotional state you are both in plays an important role. Fear, excitement, guilt, or hope can make people more malleable and easier to convince.

 

Do you have any other unpopular techniques of changing someone’s mind or are you not that convincing? Let us know what you think down below in the comments.

If you found this useful, continue reading 5 Signs You Have High-Functioning Anxiety (WITH TIPS).