Do you always feel scattered, overwhelmed, or “too much”? It could be ADHD—and yes, women get it too…

ADHD—short for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder—has long been associated with little boys bouncing off the walls, unable to sit still in a classroom. That is the image most of us grew up with. But the truth is, ADHD is not just a childhood issue, and it certainly is not just a “boy thing.” Women get ADHD too—and often, it goes unnoticed for decades.

When most people hear ADHD, they imagine a hyperactive little boy disrupting class. Not a 43-year-old woman who can’t find her keys. Not a perfectionist mom trying to hold it all together. And definitely not someone who’s quiet, polite, and checks every box—except feeling okay inside.

But here’s the truth: ADHD looks very different in women, and most of us were never taught what that looks like.

Let me break it down as someone who’s worked with women in therapy rooms for over 20 years. I’ve seen countless women walk in saying the same thing: “I thought it was just anxiety. Or burnout. Or me being lazy.” It’s none of those.

It might be ADHD—and it’s time we talk about it in a way that makes actual sense for women’s lives.

I have spent over twenty years in private practice, mostly here in the South, working with women of all ages. I cannot count the number of women I have met who come in feeling “broken,” “scatter-brained,” or overwhelmed by life. They are not lazy. They are not careless. Many of them are quietly battling ADHD without even knowing it.

In this article, I want to walk you through how ADHD shows up differently in women, especially those over 40. If you are a woman—or love one—who always feels like life is just a little harder than it should be, you might find some clarity here.

ADHD does not have to be loud. Before we get to the signs, let’s set the record straight: ADHD is not just about being hyperactive. In fact, there are different types of ADHD. Many women have what’s called the inattentive type, meaning they aren’t necessarily bouncing off the walls—they’re zoning out, forgetting things, or constantly feeling overwhelmed.

And here’s the kicker: Because they’re not disruptive, these women often fly under the radar. Teachers don’t flag them. Doctors don’t notice. Even family members think they’re just “daydreamers” or “scattered.”

Now let’s dive into some of the signs that often show up in women—and why they’re easy to miss.

Subtle sign number 7 will harm misdiagnosed women the most…

Scroll down and read more about ADHD Is Different in Women: 7 Signs To Spot…

1. Chronic Disorganization

You know that pile of unopened mail? The laundry you started three days ago and never finished? The to-do list that never seems to shrink, no matter how hard you try? Chronic disorganization is one of the most common signs of ADHD in women.

This isn’t your run-of-the-mill messiness. It’s a deep, ongoing struggle to keep track of tasks, belongings, appointments—even thoughts. You might have moments of extreme productivity followed by stretches where everything falls apart.

I had a client once say, “I feel like my brain is a browser with 25 tabs open, and I can’t find the music playing.” That’s ADHD in women for you.

2. Emotional Overwhelm

ADHD doesn’t just affect your ability to focus—it also affects how you process emotions. Many women with ADHD are incredibly sensitive and often feel things very deeply. A slight comment from a friend can spiral into days of worry. A small mistake at work can feel like the end of the world.

This emotional intensity isn’t about being “dramatic” or “moody.” It’s often a neurological sensitivity. And when hormones fluctuate—during PMS, perimenopause, or menopause—it can get worse.

3. People-Pleasing and Perfectionism

Believe it or not, many women with ADHD become perfectionists. Not because they are naturally organized or high-achieving, but because they are trying to compensate for the chaos they feel inside.

They double-check everything. They over-prepare. They say “yes” when they want to say “no.” Why? Because they have spent a lifetime trying to prove they are not lazy, not flaky, not forgetful—even if they feel like they are.

People-pleasing becomes a coping mechanism. And it is incredibly exhausting.

4. Time Blindness

Ever sit down to check one email and suddenly two hours are gone? Or underestimate how long a simple task will take, like getting ready for a doctor’s appointment?

This is something called time blindness, and it’s a big part of ADHD. Women with ADHD often struggle to sense the passing of time. They either rush through everything or find themselves constantly running late, despite the best intentions.

And then comes the internal shame: “Why can’t I get it together like other women?”

5. Hyperfocus

On the flip side of distractibility, there’s something called hyperfocus. This is when someone with ADHD becomes so absorbed in an activity—reading, crafting, cleaning, binge-watching—that they lose all track of time and surroundings.

Now, being focused does not seem like a problem. But the issue is this: it’s not controlled focus. It is all or nothing. Many women with ADHD describe this as being “trapped” in a task, even ignoring hunger, sleep, or loved ones.

It’s like their brain won’t let go until the job is done—or they completely burn out. Sounds familiar yet?

6. Restlessness—Not Just Physical

Women with ADHD may not be bouncing in their chairs like young boys, but restlessness still exists. It just shows up differently.

Think of it as mental restlessness: racing thoughts, trouble relaxing, constantly needing to “do” something. Sitting still with nothing to do might feel almost painful. It’s why many women multitask constantly—watching TV while folding laundry while mentally planning tomorrow’s meals.

This is also why rest often feels impossible.

7. Trouble with Self-Esteem and Identity

This is perhaps the most disheartening sign. After years—sometimes decades—of feeling “less than,” many women with ADHD develop deep self-doubt. They start to believe they are lazy, dumb, selfish, or bad at adulting.

They may have succeeded in life—raised kids, run businesses, held jobs—but they still feel like imposters. Like they are always one step away from dropping the ball.

Some even say, “If people only knew how hard it is for me to keep it all together…”

This kind of internal struggle can lead to depression, anxiety, and even misdiagnoses. Again, I’ve seen women treated for mood disorders when their primary issue was undiagnosed ADHD.

Bottom line: Why Is It Missed in Women?

There are a few reasons ADHD is so often missed in women:

• Girls are socialized to behave. Many girls learn to hide their impulsivity or distractibility, which makes their symptoms less noticeable.
• Women mask symptoms better. They find ways to compensate—staying up late to catch up, using endless lists, avoiding situations where they might forget something.
• Medical bias. Many doctors still don’t recognize inattentive ADHD as easily as the hyperactive type.

So, many women go untreated—or worse, they are told it’s “just stress” or “just menopause.”

If any of these signs hit home, don’t panic. You are not alone, and you’re not broken. Getting curious about ADHD is the first step toward finding peace. Here are a few steps you can follow:

• Talk to your doctor. Be honest about your struggles. If they dismiss you, find someone who listens.
• Consider an evaluation. A licensed psychologist or psychiatrist can help determine if ADHD is a factor.
• Explore treatment. Medication can help, but so can therapy, coaching, and lifestyle changes.
• Get support. There are great books, online communities, and local support groups just for women with ADHD.

Most of all, give yourself grace. You have made it this far, likely working twice as hard just to stay afloat. Imagine how life might feel with the right tools in place.

Are you struggling with ADHD as a woman? Let us know what you think in the comments down below.

If you found this useful, continue reading 9 Behaviors Psychopaths Will Do To Grab Your Attention.