Do you have EXTREME emotions? You might have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Dealing with extreme emotions sounds easier than it is. But when they affect daily life, relationships, and self-image, extreme emotions are not pretty. They are a possible signal for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

We now know that BPD arises from childhood trauma and adversity. Caregivers and early experiences play an important role in learning and understanding emotions. Individuals that consistently had to survive an emotionally volatile environment and high unpredictability at home developed and perfected their extreme emotional mood swings. Back then, extremes provided them with essential emotional survival, which they could not control.

In adulthood, these individuals struggle with impulsivity and poor quality interpersonal relationships, including with themselves. They will notice grave effects of BPD, especially in early adulthood. If properly addressed and mitigated with the right tools, BPD can usually soften in later adulthood.

Other than trauma, psychiatrists also believe that Borderline Personality Disorder may have appeared since the prehistoric period, when ancient humans needed an evolutionary advantage to survive an unstable environment. So, with that in mind, it is more than clear that BPD is not all bad, but neither is it all good!

This often misunderstood and complex personality disorder can be fascinating. And approximately 5% of the world’s population has it. Here are the main symptoms you can start to look out for if you suspect BPD:

• emotional instability (e.g., extreme emotional mood swings, inability to regulate the nervous system);
• intense interpersonal relationships;
• impulsivity; self-harming behaviors (e.g., overspending, reckless driving, etc.)
• fragile self-image due to fear of abandonment and fear of rejection; identity disturbances.

*As a qualified psychologist, I encourage you to first get educated if you have identified one or more BPD symptoms in yourself or a loved one. Keep in mind that a professional assessment is required for an accurate diagnosis. BPD is often seen to overlap with other conditions, such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), depression, and bipolar disorder. Consistent and long-term display of symptoms together with poor executive functioning on a daily basis increases the chances of having BPD considerably. 

Let’s dive in and see what we can dig up on it. Check if you can relate to the following patterns found in people with BPD:

Emotional Symptoms

The (simplified) psychology behind it: If developing children have no role model who can teach them healthy emotions (including recognizing, expressing, controlling, and understanding emotions) and children have to constantly put up with volatile, unstable environments (usually at home and for more than a few years), then their nervous system automatically builds borderline traits for emotional survival reasons. So, emotional reactivity and extreme emotions will serve these children’s primary instinct of survival but will harm their adult lives later on.

As part of emotional symptoms, people with BPD have intense mood swings that last a few hours to a few days. Going from feeling great to feeling worthless happens very quickly for them. If mood swings are not constant or do not resemble a pattern, it is a good possibility that you are looking in the wrong place. Hormonal conditions and medication can cause similar mood swings.

Having a great emotional management capacity for a couple of days suddenly followed by chronic feelings of emptiness is a good illustration. Individuals with BPD commonly experience difficulty with anger, and display frequent outbursts and simmering resentment towards others. Which brings us to the next symptom.

Relationship Symptoms

Relationship symptoms are characterized by intense and unstable relationships. Friendships and romantic bonds do not last or see frequent instability throughout the borderline episodes. Individuals with BPD can rapidly swing between idealizing and devaluing friends and partners for the simplest disagreements.

Do you see someone as perfect one moment and then just as horrible the next? If yes, is your decision-making process influenced by these swings in the moment, which lead to poor and often impulsive decisions? If yes, this phenomenon is most likely impacting your daily life. 

The other main characteristics of relationship dynamics in BPD are the underlying fear of abandonment and fear of rejection. They can both trigger more intense BPD symptoms and lead to frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined separation.

The (simplified) psychology behind it: If an individual with BPD is treated by their partner with emotional or physical distance during the partner’s busy week at work, then the intense BPD responses activate, even if the risk of abandonment is real or imagined.

Behavioral Symptoms

This side of exhibited symptoms regards impulsivity and self-harming behaviors. Some impulsivity examples are, but not limited to: spending sprees, substance use, reckless driving, binge eating, or risky sex. Similarly, self-harming behaviors can include hitting, cutting, burning themselves, or suicidal thoughts. Both categories are alike and have a common ground, which on the outside looks like self-sabotage.

However, reasons for self-harming behaviors on the inside are:

• Self-harm helps them regulate extreme emotions and calm down;
• Self-harm helps them achieve the perceived desire of self-punishment;
• Self-harm helps prevent suicidal further action;
• Individuals use self-harm to express emotional pain.

The (simplified) psychology behind it is deeply intertwined. So far, we can neatly see that all types of symptoms are closely linked to one another. They all integrate elements from one another. It can be tricky to navigate BPD with no awareness of it.

Sense of Self

Individuals with BPD will experience an unstable sense of self or sense of identity. They commonly feel unsure of who they are, and they often change goals, values, or career plans. Also, some of them experience dissociation or intense paranoia under stressful conditions, feeling disconnected from reality.

One day you feel confident, the next you feel worthless or totally different.

The (simplified) psychology behind it: If no one ever reflected who you were back to you with care, it’s hard to learn to know who you are on your own. If caregivers did not validate or ignored your expressions of self, you might believe in a blurry self-image.

The Good News

Problems in Borderline Personality Disorder are painful but treatable. Through therapy, especially Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) or Schema Therapy, people can:

• Build emotional regulation skills;
• Create compassion in their relationships;
• Develop a more integrated, consistent sense of self;
• Learn to trust their internal experiences.

If you want to learn more about how you can help yourself, this self-help emotion regulation tool is a great resource.

Other recommended non-pharmacological treatments include exercises of mindfulness, exposure therapy to distress and emotional dysregulation, and interpersonal regulation. Individuals can grow out of BPD and build healthy attachments to the self and others.

Takeaway

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a DSM-5 official diagnosis and it impairs daily decision-making and interactions. It is both a mental health disorder and a type of personality disorder. Individuals with BPD often get additionally diagnosed with anxiety, trauma, and depression.

It is essential for individuals suspecting BPD to be seen by a licensed professional. Although no BPD-specific medications exist, general mood stabilizers, antidepressants, and antipsychotics can mediate severe instability.

With understanding, compassion, and proactive resolution, BPD can be effectively combated.

What are your struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder? Let us know what you think down below in the comments.

If you found this useful, continue reading 5 Signs You Have High-Functioning Anxiety (WITH TIPS).